What’s In This Episode:
Brad: There are definitely days when I lose a deal and I’m like, I’m never going to work again. No one’s ever going to hire me. I just don’t need someone to say, “Fred, you had three bad deals in a row.”
Brad: Welcome to Breaking Down Your Business episode 346.
Jill: It really does scare me every time. Every time.
Brad: You can find the show notes for this episode at BreakingDownYourBusiness.com/346.
Jill: 346. That’s a lot of episodes.
Brad: I’m Brad from Anchor Advisors.
Jill: I’m Jill from The Founding Moms.
Brad: Jill, what are we talking about today?
Jill: I don’t know, but I’m feeling very military today. I don’t know why.
Brad: This month we’ve been talking about accountability.
Jill: That’s right.
Brad: About keeping your goals.
Jill: That’s right.
Brad: Jill, how you doing on your no sugar pledge. You still with us here by the third weekend in January?
Jill: What no sugar pledge? No, I’m kidding, I’m kidding.
Brad: Come on.
Jill: That was the military side of me. No, I’m doing just fine. Thank you very much.
Brad: There’s a military side of you?
Jill: Apparently, there is. I love it. I hate it. I feel, I mean, it’s still at the beginning. I think the last time we did this, we lasted six months and I remember it was [crosstalk 00:01:02].
Brad: [crosstalk 00:01:01]. I think it was two times ago we lasted three [crosstalk 00:01:03].
Jill: Don’t out us like that to the newer listeners, but I definitely remember each time it took weeks for me to not feel like I need Oreos right this moment.
Brad: Real quick. Top three tips for sticking to your goals. What is your, when you’re trying to stick to something like this, what is your, what do you think about?
Jill: I need people to do it with me. I can’t really do it solo and I’m a very independent person, but if I don’t have somebody to complain to or to be competitive with me or to just say how’s it going like you just did?
Brad: I’m eating less sugar than you are.
Jill: Oh no. So I have you, I have my partner, I’ve got a bunch of people all doing no sugar and it’s all different for everybody, but that doesn’t matter to me.
Brad: Right. It doesn’t matter.
Jill: Thing number two, don’t buy the crap.
Jill: Don’t buy this stuff.
Brad: Don’t test your willpower.
Brad: It’s just easier if you set up a system where you can’t screw up.
Jill: Can’t see it, can’t hear it, can’t feel it. I don’t have a number three. Do you have a number three?
Brad: My number three would be always be starting. Be kind to your-
Jill: Why is it always be starving?
Brad: [inaudible 00:02:11]. Be kind to yourself. If you screw up, don’t be like, oh I screwed up. just start over.
Jill: That’s good.
Brad: Just this is the thing that I’m doing and so I’m just going to keep doing it. Not necessarily sugar because I’ve been-
Jill: You know what? I don’t know about that actually because I could fall down the rabbit hole of, well I messed up this time so if I mess up tomorrow, maybe I’ll still be kind to myself. If I mess up every hour with these chocolate chip cookies, I could go down the wrong path.
Brad: I understand that, but then you’re saying, well I’m not really keeping, I’m not really, I don’t have integrity in my goal. That’s just me lying to myself.
Jill: Maybe that’s what I’d like to do if I really need the chocolate chips.
Brad: But, and maybe it’s not with something like sugar, but for me, another one of my 2020 habits is to do more regular outreach and I’ll go a couple of days and realize I haven’t done any outreach. But anytime that I’ve spent beating myself up is time that I could just spend doing outreach.
Jill: That’s funny. I’ve never thought about how similar a lot of our practices in business are to food because I was just thinking that’s very different than health. That doesn’t affect our doing no sugar. It’s very, very different and I’m just realizing now, no it’s not.
Brad: Yeah, it’s just the same.
Jill: Definitely not.
Brad: It’s forming habits and changing behaviors.
Jill: I think I’m much kinder to myself in business though than I am in the health department. That’s why I say that.
Brad: Yeah. Well, that’s my tip. You can do differently, but I think being kind to yourself-
Jill: No, I think that’s a great tip.
Brad: It makes it more able for me to keep going rather than-
Jill: I mean, I completely disagree, but it’s a great tip. Accountability hashtag I said it wrong. You get it.
Brad: So one of the other things, and you mentioned a little bit in your tips there, I feel like I need someone who’s going to be excited for me if I’m doing well and someone who’s going to be disappointed if I fail.
Jill: You want that?
Brad: Yes. I want to feel like there’s someone in it with me.
Jill: I don’t think you need anyone to feel that way. I think if I look at you with just a, “Oh, what glasses is he wearing today?” You’re going to be hard on yourself for yourself and go, “She’s judging me. She knows that I had two spoonfuls of honey in my tea.”
Brad: No honey. I don’t have honey in tea. [crosstalk 00:04:19].
Jill: I’m just saying, you’re going to … I don’t know.
Brad: One of the problems I had when I was new in business is that I would close a big deal and I’d stand in my office and go Yeah. I’m by myself in my office making this weird gesture in the air.
Jill: He’s standing here, by the way, listeners with his arms in the air.
Jill: Just holding them up right in the air.
Brad: There came a time in my business where I found another business owner. I was like, “Hey, can I call you when I close a deal? And you should call me when you close a deal.”
Jill: I remember you saying this.
Jill: I think that’s genius and sounds a little desperate to be perfectly frank, but I like it. I like it and I think I am realizing now I do that by way of all of the content marketing that we do. If I have some giant accolade, some big thing happen, I’ll post it on social media or I’ll put it in the newsletter and enough people, “Yay. Good for you.”, that I get the same reaction.
Brad: So the opposite is also true for me is that I want to have someone to call when I didn’t get that deal who says, “It’s okay Brad? Go do the next one.”
Brad: Oh yeah.
Jill: I don’t think I need that. Why do you need that? Oh, because you feel so down about it. You need a pick me up.
Brad: I can. I might or I just need someone to help me have perspective. There are definitely days when I lose a deal and I’m like, “I’m never going to work again. No one’s ever going to hire me.” I just don’t need someone to say, “Fred, you had three bad deals in a row. Go get another one.”
Jill: This is going to sound really weird. I think I’m just wired differently. I don’t go to that place ever. If something doesn’t work out, it’s very strange and I think I’m in the minority, but I often think, well that’s their loss and there are a million other possibilities and I just carry on, which might be my way of dealing with it.
Jill: I just sort of like, I don’t know. I never feel like I need to call and have a commiseration session.
Brad: You have a lot of energy.
Jill: I do.
Brad: I think you just pour that energy over whatever you’re feeling and just keep going.
Jill: I just don’t think I take it as hard. Maybe that’s because I ask for a lot of a lot of people all the time. I get no a lot or deals fall through a lot. Maybe the sheer quantity has me going like, okay, onto the next. Yeah, yeah.
Brad: Yeah. So one tool-
Jill: Quantity, not quality [crosstalk 00:06:32].
Brad: One tool that has survived the test of time-
Jill: And served it.
Brad: … for helping people to stay more aligned to their goals is mastermind groups.
Jill: I might agree. It’s just what I do for a living. So what about you, Brad?
Brad: Why don’t you tell me what you think a mastermind group is?
Jill: It’s accountability baby. It’s actually, I don’t know why you laughed. It’s not a joke. It’s the place where you can go and in a … You can work hard, you can get down to brass tacks and have support and commiseration and all those things we were just discussing in a room together, face to face.
Brad: So is there a format that makes a mastermind group work?
Jill: Yes. I’m talking about the beautiful creative SOP [crosstalk 00:07:20] on the outside.
Brad: I’m trying to bring it down a little bit more to the [crosstalk 00:07:23].
Jill: Yes. There is a format. It’s funny, I thought you were going along with the masterminds that you’re running right now and I now want to hear your format before I spill mine.
Jill: You show me yours.
Brad: So, one of the reasons that I moved to the mastermind format is that I really believe there’s power in a group.
Jill: Of course.
Brad: When I’m working one on one with someone and they don’t meet their commitment, there’s limited, I have some strings to pull, but after a certain period of time, they’ve disappointed me a bunch of times. I can’t pull out the dad voice anymore. We got to do something different. In the group, there’s something different about working with your peers because we all want to be well-liked and well thought of by our peers course. So what we do is we start with a check in so each person in the group gets 10 minutes and they tell us what they’ve accomplished since the last meeting. Then what they’re intending to accomplish between now and the next meeting. Then they ask us for any help that they need or if there’s any kind of barriers or obstacles that they see, what are those so that the group can then help them to have a different perspective on those things.
Jill: I think ours are pretty similar and ours, you have your mastermind Brad, where people sit with you and learn everything because you know everything. But I have lots of leaders in different cities. So there’s variation. We don’t give as much devoted time to each person at the beginning of the meeting. Everybody’s sort of does a little intro, not even a pitch, but an intro of who they are and what they’re doing there. We launch right into what are the issues you’re having, what problems do you need solved, let’s all discuss.
Jill: Sometimes that ends up being a spotlight on one person, but for the most part everybody’s sort of working on a topic either that has come up at that meeting and/or we have an overarching theme every month with The Founding Moms like we do on this podcast. So our leaders will sort of steer it towards accountability so we can make sure that everybody understands what it is, knows how important it is. I think your masterminds, my master, most masterminds, everybody leaves with the … Hopefully with the same result in that they feel heard, they feel like they learned something or solve something and they can actually go build better.
Brad: I think that the accountability helps people during the week. I know I’m going to have to tell the group what I did and I don’t want to tell him I did nothing. So I think that helps people during the week.
Jill: It forces you. Yeah.
Brad: I think that what comes, I think the magic for me to the mastermind group is that when I bring up an obstacle … I remember in a group that I was in a number of years ago. I knew that I needed to get an office, I needed to move out of my home office, but I didn’t need a whole suite of offices. I needed actually one literal office.
Jill: Sure. Sure.
Brad: So this was a time when coworking spaces were not as popular as they are today. I was talking to a bunch of clients about could I just rent an empty office in your space?
Brad: But I had all these obstacles in my mind about how would I do the phones and how’s it work for mail and when people come to visit me? How do I get the shared conference room? One of the other guys in the room is like, “Oh, I did this. It’s easy. Here’s how you do it. You do this and you do this.” I was like, “Oh my gosh.” This thing that had built up to be this big barrier in my mind, boom, in five minutes done.
Jill: Super complicate.
Brad: I went from having all these things I had to figure out to, okay, I’m just going to go do this thing.
Jill: That’s so interesting. I love that and that happens at ours, but that’s not the thing I remark on the most. Maybe this is because I run The Founding Moms so we work with women and women socially are trained to be very humble. Don’t admit much. Everything you’re doing wrong, you shouldn’t really speak about out loud. So my favorite thing at our meetings is when somebody will be like you Brad, and talk about how they need something or they messed up on anything they talk about, it gives everyone else in the room permission to go, “Oh, I’m not alone in this. This happened to me too.” I like the permission giving of masterminds where we can all go, “Oh, I don’t have to be a genius nut. Nobody knows what they’re doing.” We can solve this together. I love, I mean maybe that’s kind of what you were saying.
Brad: Yeah, it is.
Jill: Yeah. I think I’m, I’m leaning on the emotional side of it more than the practical side of it.
Brad: Well, what I was going to say about the emotional side is I will say that the times that I remember most in the mastermind groups that I’ve been a part of are when people brought issues that were not business issues.
Jill: You lean on those the most you said?
Brad: No, I remember them. They’re the most memorable.
Jill: Always the most powerful. Here’s what’s interesting. When I launched our very first founding exchange years ago, anytime anybody would bring anything up emotionally, any feelings topic as the founder, I would squirm in my seat, hope that they shut up real quickly and think, “What are you doing? This is business. We’re not here to talk about your feelings.” I would be embarrassed for my business. Then I remember thinking like, “I can’t have that speaker come back. All she talked about where her emotional challenges.” I think I had to drink my own Kool-Aid and it took years for me to go, “Oh this is what’s bringing everyone back every time.”
Brad: It’s amazing to me how much closer you feel as a group when someone is more vulnerable about something.
Jill: Way closer.
Brad: I mean I remember I was having a problem with one of my kids one time and it was interfering with my ability to do business because it was a serious problem that we were having with this kid. I opened up about it to the group and the number of people in the room that said, “Oh yeah, I went through that.”
Jill: Oh that’s shocking always.
Brad: Oh my gosh. It felt amazing.
Jill: I’m sure. I’m sure.
Brad: It felt amazing.
Jill: As we’re standing here saying this, and I’m a decade into running this, I’m still going, “Yeah, but I can’t be vulnerable. I’m too big a presence online now or I have a pod. I can’t do that.”
Brad: You are big time.
Jill: I’m wired always. Yeah, sure. I’m wired always to think like, “Yeah, that’s for other people to do, not me.” I think that’s most people and then they come to a mastermind and they keep coming because, “Oh wait, I don’t …” You’re forced to be vulnerable. That sounds a little like prison. We basically run prisons.
Brad: No Jill. We do not.
Jill: Is that the conclusion of this podcast? We rim prisons.
Brad: You are the worst sales person ever. I don’t even know.
Jill: I am, but it’s because we run prisons.
Brad: Okay. Thanks so much. This is the last episode of Breaking down Your Business.
Jill: No. Haven’t you ever wanted to go check out a prison? Maybe they’d want to come.
Brad: No. I have never wanted to go check out a prison.
Jill: An emotional prison.
Brad: That is not my experience of mastermind at all.
Jill: I’m just half joking. 73% joking.
Brad: The part of you that’s not joking, [crosstalk 00:13:58].
Jill: That’s the reaction a lot of people have. I just want them to know, if it feels like a prison, you’re not alone.
Brad: It feels like freedom to me, Jill. There’s no part of it that feels like prison. People are choosing, they’re paying to come to these things.
Jill: That’s speaking to their fears. I’m speaking to their fears, Brad, and now we’re going down a path we don’t need to go down.
Brad: Since you’re talking about fears, one of the things that also helps me in the masterminds that I’m working with is that I’m only looking for people to join that mastermind who have something big that they want to achieve so that they’re facing those fears that … It’s not people that are like, “Yeah, my business, great. I want to do 5% better next year.” It’s like people don’t want to do 50 or a hundred percent better, and so they need to make fundamental changes in their business.
Jill: Love it.
Brad: When you’re with other people that are making those kinds of changes, it’s so energizing.
Brad: When you’re in your office by yourself saying, “I’m going to do twice as much business next year.” You feel a little crazy, but when you’re with a group of other people who are actually doing it. You feel like, well, I better, I don’t want to fall off the back of this wagon.
Jill: Frankly, there’s an entire industry called therapy that exists because you can’t often help yourself by yourself. You need a backboard. You need ears. You need reflection. You need another human being. We’re human beings. We need connection. So I’m just echoing and shouting about what you just said.
Brad: So if someone’s been in a mastermind-
Jill: Or prison.
Brad: … or someone who’s thinking about joining a mastermind-
Jill: Or prison.
Brad: what kind of results have you seen? How have you seen people change?
Jill: I would love to hear from the people who actually do have the reaction I’ve been joking about and have been to a mastermind and then reject it or decide I can’t. I would love to know them too. Will you call us (708) 872-7878?
Brad: Do you want people to join your mastermind Jill?
Jill: I don’t know. Are they ready for it?
Brad: So what kind of results do you think people are getting in your mastermind?
Jill: If they come to a founding exchange, they’re getting all the results. No, they’re getting camaraderie. They’re getting support. They’re getting education. They’re getting actual work on their business.
Brad: Are the any specifics? Do you have some stories?
Jill: I have a lot of stories.
Brad: Give me one.
Jill: My favorite story that I don’t recall if I’ve talked about on this podcast is a woman who showed up to it at founding exchange shortly after having had a baby wearing sweats talking about a business idea she had, and we don’t often have people who come with business ideas. They normally have a business already, but she knew this was going to be successful. When she explained to us that she had a product that helped with your fingernails and giving yourself a manicure, we pretty much rolled our eyes and felt really bad for her and thought, “Okay, good luck to you.”
Brad: So that was a very supportive mastermind.
Jill: It was really not in my mind. That was the amount of support going on. She loved the camaraderie. She loved being able to talk about this. She was keeping it a secret from a lot of people. She loved sharing it with everybody. It was very encouraging for her. She was busy going, “I don’t think it’s going to work. I don’t think it’s going to work.” Even though she knew it would. We all said, “No, no, no. It’s going to work.” We would talk about details, packaging, marketing. She came back for many, many months and eventually she would start showing up with the product in its packaging. She eventually would show up with PR articles about her product. She is currently selling this product in stores worldwide. She’s in Sephora’s everywhere. She has a lot of zeros that she’s added to her income.
Brad: Nice. That’s awesome.
Jill: She’s just one of my favorite stories obviously because it’s amazing and very dramatic, but I don’t think she would have sat at her kitchen table and come up with this thing and actually been able to do all of that without hearing herself talk about it.
Brad: It’s the doing it. She had the idea, but she needed, like you said, she needed to get some oxygen into that idea.
Jill: I have another, it’s not even a long story, but another woman who came was a former nurse at a school and ended up coming to our meetings feeling so encouraged by all of the people there and having such success that she was like, “You know what? I need to talk to parents about how to teach their kids about sex.” I believe we’ve even had her on the podcast, but she is now a coach. She has a book out. She tours and teaches and it’s amazing the progress she’s made. It’s just amazing when people walk in and are kind of like, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” They might still feel that way, but they’ve come a long way. I love it.
Brad: Just in the last couple months, I had one business owner who he realized that he’s got one line of business and he’s super successful with that one line of business, but that line of business was not going to double his income. If he wanted to double his income, he needed to add some additional lines. But he also knew that adding those lines of business was more than he could do on his own. So he came up, he looked out in the marketplace and he saw some places where there were some opportunities and he found people who were interested in those opportunities, but weren’t entrepreneurs themselves. They needed someone to coach them. They needed a business to be a part of. He hired these two people. He gave each of them these lines of business and now he’s got-
Brad: Right. Exactly. He wouldn’t have done that, I think, without the support of the group.
Brad: Having the revelation was one thing, but then having the courage to do it was something else.
Jill: I think this is also, this mastermind discussion is kind of like pregnancy to me in that I can be pregnant and tell you how the pregnancy is, but until you’re pregnant, you’re not really going to understand it. Because our whole game at The Founding Moms is explaining exactly how powerful our masterminds are, our founding exchanges. But until you come, you’re not really going to know how fulfilling and helpful the whole thing is. I’m sure it’s the same with yours.
Brad: Well, can I tell one more story?
Brad: Because this is a totally different perspective, but one of the business owners was looking around at the rest of the group and he’s like, “I’ve been neglecting my health. I don’t do anything for my health.” His business is really successful, but he said, “I have a bag of Cheetos in my desk. That’s what I eat for lunch.” He actually, he shifted his work hours. He now takes a walk during lunch and he’s got a yoga thing that he does on his way home from work.
Jill: That’s awesome.
Brad: But again, it was the awareness of being around the other people that made him intentional about making this change and he always had the power to do this. He’s the boss. He can do whatever he wants, but being around the other people gave him the awareness that this was something that he wanted and needed in his life.
Jill: You just illustrated something that we haven’t used the word for yet. Attending masterminds, being part of them, the accountability factor allows you to really focus and I think you can’t get that kind of focus by yourself. You can to some degree. Some of you might feel like you’re extremely good at it, but truly true focus you will see is not something that you can do without other people around you in my experience.
Brad: So Jill, if someone wanted to find a Founding Moms exchange, if they were inspired by this conversation, if they wanted to experience prison?
Jill: Yeah, I would love for you to come to our prisons. If you go to FoundingMoms.com, you’ll see our exchanges tab right there or you can get a FoundingMoms.com/exchanges.
Brad: If you have no interest in prison, but just want to grow your business significantly, AnchorAdvisors.com/mastermind is where you want to be.
Jill: If you have questions about it or you have input that we didn’t discuss about this, call or text at 708-872-7878. We want to hear from you. I think we crushed it.
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